Affirmations for Attachment-based Infant + Toddler Sleep Support

Our society tends to be hyper-focused for raising “good sleepers”, but what does that even mean? Often, this is defined by an infant or toddler sleeping through the night without the need for support. Which… isn’t realistic.

It is normal for infants and toddlers (and even older kiddos at times!) to need support to sleep. We are wired to seek safety- and for little humans- that means being reassured that our caregivers are nearby, even when we are sleeping.

So, we are here to redefine what it means for a little one to get “good sleep”. While for some that might mean sleeping through the night, for others that might mean seeking some support from a caregiver during the night. It’s all about knowing your little one and what they need.

As our specialty for Sleep Consultations are those kiddos who are a bit more sensitive and tend to need some more sleep support, we’ve created some affirmations for the caregivers of those sensitive littles.

Take what you need:

My little one trusts that I’m here for them when they need support. This is an important way that they will learn to ask for help when they need it down the road.

One of the most important skills that we humans can learn is to ask for help. Fortunately, babies are already wired to do this- but so often this instinct gets diminished when caregivers are taught to ignore requests for support. This doesn’t mean that you are causing harm when you can’t immediately help one hundred percent of the time (I’m talking to you, anxious parent), but what it does mean is that when our kiddo learns a pattern of them requesting support and having a caregiver support them- they will know that it is skillful to ask for help when they need it. Isn’t that something we all want our kids to feel confident in down the road?!

My little one’s nervous system feels safe when I am around. They are listening to their human instincts when they signal to me that they need my support.

Your kiddo feels comfortable when you are around because they are wired to. As a survival instinct, children feel safest when their caregivers are near. This allows their nervous system to know that their needs can be met and they will be protected. And while we know they may be factually safe when they are sleeping, their nervous system is still wired to feel safest when we are near.

It takes more emotion regulation skills than my little one has at this point in their life to soothe themselves back to sleep. By supporting them, they get to co-regulate with me, which will help them learn these skills as they are able to.

While it is important for us all to learn emotion regulation skills at developmentally appropriate stages, tiny humans don’t yet have that capacity! Their brains and nervous system are focused most on making sure their needs are met as well as learning all of those movement and language skills. Over time, we can support them in learning emotion regulation skills, and when they are really little, that starts by co-regulating with them. The support you provide them now can inform them on how they can support themselves down the road.

It’s okay if my little one needs more support than others do. I am learning about them and their needs each day. I am also learning to hold space for myself as we navigate this phase of life.

While you can affirm that your choices around providing your little one support to sleep are healthy and normal, it is also okay to feel complicated feelings around sleep. The infant and toddler phases of life are uniquely challenging, and it’s understandable that you may feel exhausted with not being able to get that sweet un-interrupted sleep yourself! It may feel reassuring to know that there are things that you can do to help everyone get more sleep while also maintaining sleep support.

Looking for support that is rooted in attachment? We are here for you. We specialize in those highly sensitive little ones that may need some extra support when it comes to sleep. Our recommendations do not include cry-it-out methods, rather, focus on what routines, sensory environments, and connections will help your little one (and entire family!) sleep best.

Learn more about our Sleep Consultations as well as our Certified Sleep and Wellbeing Specialist to see if a consultation might be the right fit for you! Consults are held via email and online assessment for your convenience, and are available to you from wherever you live in the world.